Why do I act so stupid at times? You would think that I'd have gained some knowledge down this road called life. But, no, I don't know think at times and stuff blows up in my face. The stuff I've done has only pushed this dream away. I mean I like this girl a lot and if I could sit down and actually talk to her about it, instead of getting no answers. I want this to work out, but my actions aren't helping a lot. So maybe i should just think once in a while. I mean this isn't a good way to get her attention. I'm just driving her away with that stupid thinking. I have to tell her that I am stupid sometimes. I don't know. It seems I should tell her that I'm really serious about liking her and that I'm not fooling around. She knows I like her but I don't know what she thinks of me. Or whether she even likes me. I may never get an answer and that fact only makes me more curious.
So there it is.
Good Night everybody

Why it is that when I sit here in this place, I come with no ideas to write about. I sit here in this shop because my dad has finally moved his office out to his shop. By doing so, he has moved the computer out with him. I look around and what's there? Tons of empty cigarette packs and millions more sucked dried beer cans. and it. What's it, you ask? The stupid thing that might allow me to go to college. It sits there looking nice, sleek, and attractive. I do agree it is all of those things, but I look at and see nothing. I mean this thing is worth at least $50,000. What's this thing? A red Ford Thunderbird. I mean all of my life money has been spent on his addictions and cravings. I mean I could be rich off the money he's spent on beer and cigarettes. The man's basically paying for his quickened death. What makes me even sicker is that I don't do anything to stop him. I don't know. I wish he would stop. I really do.